Deepika Blogs…

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I was 12 years old…

I was 12 years old when I was molested by my neigbor’s son.

My great grandmother had passed away and my family had left me in the care of my neighbor’s family for a day. Their house next door was like a second home to me. Our families were very close and I looked up to my neighbor’s two daughters and their son as my older sisters and brother. My mom often sent me there with food she had made and they did the same. Compared to our modest household, they were affluent and everything about their lifestyle and home was  glitz and glamour. Going to their house was always a treat for me. To play with fancy toys, to eat in fancy dishes and just overall, it was special. Until. that. day…

My great grandmother was almost 100 when she died and her passing was a long celebration of her life spanning maybe a couple days. All the adults in my family had to be there and because I had exams the next morning, I couldn’t go. So my parents asked me if I would be okay staying with my neighbor for an evening. “Of course!” I said, thinking what an amazing time I’ll have with them. Once there, I had a really nice meal with my neighbor (she adored me and I called her Auntie) at their house and later we watched some movies. And then… her son took me to the balcony of their house and started acting funny. At first he asked me to sit on his lap. Why? I asked. He said “Its okay, it’ll be fun”. What followed next is not something I still feel comfortable putting in words but I remember the details of that evening like it happened yesterday. My instincts told me what was happening was not right and I pushed him aside and ran away. Luckily I had the keys to my house.

I hate that I was the victim.

I hate that I did not have the courage to kick him in the groin. I hate that I did not run into the other room and tell his mother what he did. I hate that years later when he got married, I did not tell his wife what kind of man she married. And most importantly I hate that I was betrayed by those I trusted.

But that night, I realized I have something within me which will guide me throughout my life. My instinct. I have learned to follow it. If you think its wrong, IT IS WRONG.

I wish instead of those stupid sex ed videos we had to watch in school, they would invite people to talk about real life experiences and we would get educated and informed about inappropriate behavior. I wish my mom could have warned me about this.

I wish it didn’t happen to me. But it did…

I never told a soul about this.

Not my mother or my father, not even my closest friends with whom I shared my deepest fear.

So why am I talking about this 30 years later? And that too so publicly?

Because I have a 7 year old daughter and I am not going to let her be the victim. I am educating her about inappropriate behavior and the world we live in. I am empowering her to take action if she notices anything wrong.

I am talking about it, because I want to appeal to all parents of young boys to raise them to respect women. I am talking about it, because what happened to me was wrong and 30 years later I am still affected by it.

Today I salute my Mother in Law who has raised not one but three amazing men who treat women as their equals. They are kind and have empathy. They care.

And I am married to one of them. This man has my heart and my respect!

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14 thoughts on “I was 12 years old…

  1. You have courage. Bless you for raising your lovely daughter to be strong. And Bless your husband and your family.

  2. Marilyn on said:

    Thank you, Deepika. You are brave and strong. I admire you. Your suggestion that inappropriate behavoir should be included in sex ed is excellent.

    • Deepika on said:

      It is hard to talk about experiences like this publicly but if people did, especially in schools, kids would be better off and both girls and boys will benefit from it. IMO.

  3. Oh, Dee. I’m so proud of you.

  4. Sherril Miller on said:

    What a wonderful thing you are doing for Dia.

  5. Very sad to learn what you underwent. My heart goes for those who could not escape and became victims like Nirbhaya. The modern society is becoming more and more complex, the predator may come in any form , any place and any time. Assertiveness and prevention is the only cure. I too have a lovely daughter and may God protect her always.

  6. theprettyandthekitsch on said:

    You are so brave and so damned strong for getting through this and for telling about it. I’m so proud of you and my heart goes out to you, full of so much love and respect.

    I’ve had my own experiences, but not at such a young age. I’m still not strong or brave enough to talk about it.

    Thank you for your courage, thank you for speaking out, thank you for surviving and for striving to help the world become a better, safer place for not only your own daughter, but for all girls, for all women. ❤

    • Deepika on said:

      I am sorry that this happened to you too. You will talk about it whenever you are ready. Until then I send you healing vibes, and a warm hug.

      • theprettyandthekitsch on said:

        Aw, you’re such a sweet heart Deepika, I’m sorry that it happened to you as well and send so much love your way. You are one brave and amazing woman and you truly inspire me. ❤

  7. danvillegirl on said:

    Thanks for your bravery in sharing this, this can have a positive impact for others. You are a great role model for your daughter and I believe what’s on her t-shirt will be her for her future as she continues to grow.

  8. Yours is the best voice I have read on this subject. Thank you for that.

    Your little one’s picture with the fab t shirt, I have saved to my pinterest board ‘MostBeautiful Things’.

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